It was time for a bigger house than the shoebox they lived in on Broadcast Drive. They wanted to raise a family. They wanted more space and fresh air, so they moved to Clearwater Bay in Hong Kong in 1985.
The couple decorated their home with a Western twist, which was essential for my mom as a foreigner in Hong Kong who grew up with a big house, a porch and back yard – that was the norm. Decorating their house became a challenge, however, when grandmother Wong set up three statues of gods in the spare bedroom. The three gods, also known as the Feng Shui Gods of Wealth, were three wise men named “fook” “look” and “sau” (福祿壽), representing happiness, prosperity and longevity, and always positioned from left to right in the same order. The three wise men are thought to represent specific celestial energies that are available for the benefit of humans. For this reason, most Chinese people in Hong Kong have elevated statues of the Feng Shui Gods in the center of their houses with offerings of fruit, flowers and incense in hopes of receiving blessing and good luck energy, “qi”.
Dad remembers there being the three gods situated at the entrance of his home growing up. Then, inside the home, there was a much larger god who was on a platform in a prominent area of the house. This god was called “sun toi” (God’s platform). Dad remembers that every morning, his mom would put fruit inside their home by the “sun toi” as an offering at least once a day. She would always choose apples or oranges because they would last longer and the kids could eat them after about a week. During big festivals, dad remembers his mom putting larger offerings of “siu yuk” (barbeque meat), an entire chicken, cooked, and other delectable and slightly more expensive meats for offering.
Needless to say, mom did not grow up with that culture, and dad’s generation participated in such traditions to a much lesser extent than the previous. Though grandmother Wong was well intentioned, the three statues posed a large concern in the setup of their new home, not only because they didn’t believe in those gods for good luck, but also because the independence they desired as a young married couple felt jeopardized. The situation was especially hard for my father because in the end somebody (who he cared a lot about) would not get their way.
Why are there three gods in the spare bedroom?
They’re just statues, they’re not gods.
Then why do you need them?
They’re good luck.
Do they have some sort of power?
No, just luck.
Sorry, but I can’t have these gods in our house.
The statues were disposed of in a nice place somewhere far away, and the issue of gods was never mentioned or brought up again from mom, dad or grandma Wong.
Traditions are interesting in how you decide what to drop and what to keep aflame. Often, these are informed by how much respect you have for certain objects, and also by how disrespected you may feel when your values are imposed upon. Marriages are a prime example where families, traditions and cultures come together. In a marriage, individuals need to reflect on the values of their upbringing, before collectively communicating about which they want to keep, discard, or even create as a new family.
Memories from the branches of Fowler and Wong 